The Next Big Thing

A big part of Twilight’s success is due to a lack of entertainment aimed at the fantasy life of young girls (of any age).  Us guys get several movies a year about blowing things up and asserting manly domination.  But did Twilight take it as far as it could go?  I don’t think so.  In that spirit, here is my pitch for Suitor’s Embrace, a series of novels aimed at the Twilight crowd:

Hope is a fifteen year old girl attending Apathy Central High School.  She’s surrounded by girls that are nasty to her and boys that don’t know she exists.  Also, her mother is cold to her and though she’s still the apple of her daddy’s eye, he doesn’t understand anything she’s going through.  Then, one day, a new exchange student from some fictional/exotic European country named Philipe comes to the school.  Because of overcrowding, they have to share a locker.  Philipe feels out of place as well so he and Hope have an instant bond.  As they get close she finds out he’s a vampire.  But he’s not just a vampire.  He’s a special type of vampire called a Suitor.  Suitors have a deep psychic bond with horses and Philipe shows Hope his horse: a magnificent white steed named Fantasy.  Fantasy has a mate named Fulfillment and Philipe teaches Hope to ride her.  Through that process, they fall in love (with each other, not with the horses).  As this happens, the two develop a unique connection.  When Suitors fall in love, they form a mental bond with the object of their affection that allows them to instantly know and understand what they’re feeling.  Hope doesn’t ever have to explain herself to him.  He always understands exactly where she’s coming from and is there for support.

But wait!  Something about their bond sets off the other guys in the school.  Philipe explains that once a Suitor bonds with a mate, there are certain men who can sense this and out of a sense of survival, try to claim her as their own.  All sorts of supernatural men (werewolves, a reborn king of Greece, an exotic European playboy with mind powers, etc) challenge their love in a series of novels.  Every time, their bond proves so strong they prevail.  At the end of the series, with all foes defeated, the two of them go off on their white horses together to read poetry, cuddle, and whatever else women wish we’d do other than try to have sex with them (that’ll happen but only after Philipe spends a whole day doing the other stuff). 

Eat that, Stephanie Meyer! 

I told my friend Earl about this idea over the weekend and he said I was going to ruin everything for men.  It’s bad enough competing with vampires who sparkle in the sun.  So ladies, is there anything I should add to my pitch?


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