Re: Twilight

I watched Twilight tonight with Beth.  Before experiencing any of this phenomenon I’ve been careful not to pass judgement.  After all, how can I rip on a straight-up girl’s fantasy when I’ve spent many an hour reading about men in tights beating the bejeezus out of each other?  If I felt no shame playing to the 13 year old boy in me then I wasn’t going to look down my nose at women doing the same thing.

Then I saw it.

I’m going to set aside the fact that this is a badly directed and performed movie.  And when I say badly, I mean awful.  Alright, I said it and it’s time to move on to what really bothered me.

Is this really what many women fantasize about when they’re thinking about love?  I ask because I didn’t see love in this movie.  I saw co-dependency, obsession, and a teenage girl with serious emotional problems.  When she’s in the hospital and Edward tells her that she should stay away for her own safety, she had a mini-melt down that for me was the scariest thing in the movie.  This isn’t love.  This is grounds for being medicated.  I feel sorry for anyone who thinks this is what love is all about.

Also, for a story that’s “sex free” there was sex all over the place.  Sure, no one has actual sex, but the plot revolves around predatory men “smelling” her and then wanting to have her one way or the other.  And the part where he has to suck on her open wound and yet have the willpower to stop before it’s “too late?”  Vampires are all about sex and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, not even a faithful Mormon.

So there it is.  I’ve said my piece.  I may be baffled by it, but I promise I will still not look down my nose at Twilight fans.  I love Conan the Barbarian and god knows that’s full of unhealthy ideas.  Plus, I know too many women I like and have respect for that love it. 

I feel compelled to note here that the baseball scene was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.


6 thoughts on “Re: Twilight

  1. The Twilight movies, shows like Charmed, etc. are interesting to me because they’re in fantastical genres that I historically have some love (Harry Potter, Buffy, etc.) and yet I hate them with every last fiber of my being. To be fair to Twilight I’ve not touched the books. They may be masterpieces compared to the movie adaptations, but good lord I wanted to gouge out my eyes watching the first movie. 🙂

    Can’t think of the name of the woman in the lead for Twilight, but I’m stunned at the degree to which I couldn’t stand her performance in that movie, yet liked her a lot in Adventureland.

    1. Your not standing her may be due to the fact that Bella has no real personality to speak of. She’s given some broad traits girls can identify with and that’s it. For fans of Twilight, it makes it easier to imagine being her. For non-fans like us, it makes her a lump we have no interest in.

  2. I agree with about the horrible-ness of Twilight. My wife gave the book after I saw the movie and it felt like a punch to the nuts.

    What I took away from this is a weird analogy…

    Its like you are starving. I mean hungry as hell ready to eat two week old bologna as long as it doesn’t have mold, but all you are given to eat are stale saltine crackers w/ no salt and warm tap water to drink.

    Now after living, or just surviving like this you are shown a sentient cheeseburger. This cheeseburger loves all the same things you love, you can have great conversations, and in the bedroom, let’s just say you can ‘have it your way.’

    The problem of course is that you’re still hungry and in love with a fucking cheeseburger! Not only can you not eat her, you have to fight off hordes of other hungry bastards that catch a whiff of her beefy goodness.

    So yeah, I didn’t like this movie.

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